Tortured Souls Read online

  An Ellora’s Cave Romantica Publication

  www.ellorascave.com

  Tortured Souls

  ISBN 9781419910777

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  Tortured Souls Copyright © 2008 Carol Lynne

  Edited by Briana St. James.

  Photography and cover art by Les Byerley.

  Electronic book Publication February 2008

  With the exception of quotes used in reviews, this book may not be reproduced or used in whole or in part by any means existing without written permission from the publisher, Ellora’s Cave Publishing, Inc.® 1056 Home Avenue, Akron OH 44310-3502.

  Warning: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000. (http://www.fbi.gov/ipr/)

  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the authors’ imagination and used fictitiously.

  Men in Love:

  Tortured Souls

  Carol Lynne

  Dedication

  I’d like to thank the readers who love the characters in this series as much as I do.

  Chapter One

  The deep bass of the music vibrated Bram Blackstone’s chest as he looked around the club. There wasn’t any place better to find a night of companionship than a New York City nightclub. He wasn’t kidding himself into believing he’d find Mr. Right in a place like this, he’d already found that person on a ranch in western Oklahoma. Unfortunately, Declan O’Malley didn’t want him and Bram was tired of being alone.

  He’d come to Bright Lights Big City to find a night of company in another man’s arms. Bram found an empty spot and leaned his tall six-foot-three-inch frame against the bar. He searched the crowd until the bartender nudged his elbow. Turning around, Bram ordered a beer with a whiskey chaser.

  Noticing the man’s hungry look as he took in the width of Bram’s shoulders and long black hair, Bram knew he’d be all right, at least for tonight. Just give me one night away from dreaming about Declan. That’s all I ask.

  The bartender set his drinks down in front of him and leaned his forearms on the scarred wooden bar in front of Bram. “Haven’t seen you in here before. I know because I definitely would’ve remembered someone as fine as you.”

  Bram winked at the redheaded man and picked up his whiskey. He raised his glass to the bartender. “Just looking for a little distraction for the night.” Bram put the shot glass full of amber liquid to his lips and threw back his head.

  When he slammed the glass down on the bar, Bram caught the hungry look on the bartender’s face again. “I’d be happy to help you out. I get off at three.”

  Picking up his beer, Bram started to walk away from the bar. “Thanks but I plan on getting off well before then.” He moved through the crowded club, taking in the smorgasbord of eye candy. He spotted just what he was looking for at a table in the corner, brownish-blond, about five-ten or -eleven. Yep. He looks enough like Declan to make me believe for the night.

  Walking up to the high table, Bram stood in front of Mr. Right-Now. “Dance?”

  The guy looked Bram up and down before breaking out in a smile and hopping off his stool. “Absolutely.”

  Bram led the stranger to the dance floor and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him as close as he could. Bram closed his eyes and imagined Declan in his arms. He swayed to the music, brushing his hardened bulge across the stranger’s lower stomach. The song ended, but Bram didn’t let go, and the stranger seemed in no hurry to get away.

  “My name’s John,” the man said as he began kissing Bram’s neck.

  Trying to block out what the man said, Bram moved his hands down to the two prominent globes and squeezed. He’d missed this, the press of flesh, the smell of another man. The guy in his arms seemed to crawl up Bram’s body and before he knew it, Bram was thrusting his tongue into the stranger’s mouth, while the guy ran his fingers through Bram’s hair. Breaking the kiss, he looked at the man, Joe—no, John.

  It was a shock to his system to see it wasn’t Declan in his arms. John didn’t have Declan’s light green eyes, or his long black curling lashes. The hair color wasn’t even right this close up. This guy had light brown hair. Declan’s hair was brown with sun-kissed wisps running through it. Nothing about John other than maybe his height and body shape looked like his Declan.

  Bram pulled away. The man looked up at Bram in confusion. “Is something wrong? I thought we were getting along so well.”

  Feeling disgusted, Bram shook his head. “It’s not you. I was trying to make you into someone else. Sorry.” Bram left John standing on the dance floor with his mouth open.

  Walking out of the noisy club, Bram shook his head. He hailed a cab and headed home. Well, not home, but the place I’ve been living for four years. Paying the driver, Bram was greeted by the night doorman.

  “Evening, Mr. Blackstone,” the skinny kid of about twenty-two said.

  “Evening, Charlie.” Bram walked toward the elevator bank and pushed the button.

  Entering his apartment, Bram looked around. It was every bachelor’s dream to have a place like this. So why did Bram feel so sorry for himself? He kicked off his brown loafers and went to the kitchen. Pulling a bottle of whiskey and a highball glass down from the cupboard, he poured himself a drink. Downing his glass of whiskey in two swallows, Bram refilled it and took it and the bottle into the living room. He set them on the antique mahogany table without giving a second thought to a coaster and took off his shirt. Clad in only his tight low-rise jeans, he settled himself on the sofa and picked up his drink.

  Maybe I should call Thor and check on him. Thor was Bram’s baby brother. Though Bram felt more like a father after having raised Thor since the age of eleven. Bram shut his mind to the pain the memories always seemed to bring. Thor lived and worked in western Oklahoma. Instead of teaching school, which was what Thor had been trained to do, he was working at an equestrian rehabilitation center out in the middle of nowhere. Bram wasn’t selfish enough to not realize it had been a good fit for Thor. Paralyzed at the age of ten by his own parents, Thor loved helping other wheelchair-bound people like himself learn to build their upper-body strength. Anyone could take one look at his brother and tell he knew what he was teaching. Thor’s arms and chest muscles were some of the biggest Bram had ever seen, which was saying a lot, considering Bram’s two best friends were well-muscled ex-Special Forces guys.

  Bram started thinking about his best friends. They owned the company Bram now ran. Mac and Nicco had finally gotten their act together and declared their love as two gay men. They didn’t stop there, though. Another friend of his, Amir, was now partnered with them as a threesome. They seemed to love each other very much, and Bram knew he shouldn’t be jealous, but he couldn’t help it. The threesome had bailed on the company, choosing to move to Albuquerque and set up a small bodyguard training facility. Bram ran the New York branch of JB Protections now. Mac and Nicco refused to live in the Big Apple.

  Bram knew he was stalling. Every night the inevitable happened. He’d come home have a few drinks and end up thinking about Declan. He picked up the phone and hit the memory button for Thor.

  “Hello.”

  “Hey, baby brother.” Bram poured himself another glass of whiskey and leaned back on the sofa.

  “Hey, big brother. How’ve you been in the big bad city all alone?” Thor chuckled.

  “Hardly alone.”

  “You mean you found someone?”

  “No. I haven’t found anyone. Just meant in a c
ity this size, it’s hard to be alone.” Bram took another gulp of his drink. He was well on his way to being drunk.

  “It may be hard to be alone but it’s easy to be lonely, Bram. I can tell by the timbre of your voice that you’re drinking again. Why don’t you come out to Oklahoma for a visit? I miss you and I’ve also got someone I’d like you to meet.”

  Letting out an audible sigh, Bram closed his eyes. “You and I know the only person besides you I care to see doesn’t want me there.”

  “First of all, I’m not so sure about that. Doc’s been as sour as you since you left. I think you took a part of him back to New York with you. And secondly, I wasn’t trying to fix you up. I met someone special and I want you to come and meet her.”

  “What? You’re dating a woman?” Bram sat up and refilled his glass.

  “I’m sorry, Bram, but I like women. This one in particular.”

  “Is she in a wheelchair too?”

  “Fuck you. Just because you’re a nasty drunk doesn’t mean I’ll let you call and take it out on me.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m just a little confused. You’ve never had a girlfriend before. I guess I didn’t really know it was possible.” Bram put his drink down and ran his fingers through his hair.

  “For your information, my equipment works just fine. I’m one of the lucky ones because the paralysis hasn’t affected my ability to get an erection. Besides, I’ve dated a lot of women in the past. You were always just too damn busy to notice. It’s not like I dated anyone special but I dated. This woman though, her name is Kelly Anderson. She’s special. Kelly works here three evenings a week as a volunteer and I’d like you to meet her.”

  “It’s getting serious, then?” Bram should have felt elated his little brother had found someone but it just made him feel even more alone.

  “Yeah. I think I’m in love.” Bram could hear the wistful sound of his brother’s voice. He had to admit he’d never heard that particular tone from Thor.

  Rubbing the heels of his hands over his eyes, Bram sighed. “Can’t you bring Kelly to New York? I’m sorry, but I’m just not sure about seeing Declan again. I know that makes me weak in your eyes but it hurts.”

  “Doc’s going on a water rafting trip in two weeks. Come then.”

  What would Oklahoma feel like without Declan, safe or lonely? “I’ll think about it and let you know.” Bram heard the defeat in his own voice.

  “Just try your best, okay?” Thor asked with just a bit of pleading in his voice.

  “I will.” Bram said his goodbyes, and hung up the phone. He looked at the bottle of whiskey on the table and was surprised to see it was already two-thirds empty. If he was going to be coherent in the morning, it was time to stop drinking and hit the hay.

  Standing beside his bed, Bram peeled himself out of his tight jeans, and slipped under the covers. The problem with going to bed alone was too much time to think and the obvious hardening of his cock whenever he let his mind wander to Dr. Declan O’Malley.

  With a sigh, he finally gave in. Reaching under the covers, Bram wrapped his hand around his aching cock. Closing his eyes, he remembered the feel of Declan’s sweet lean body pressed against his, the way his perfect ass fit Bram’s hands. “Mmm,” Bram moaned as his thumb pressed the slit on the crown of his throbbing shaft.

  Bram used his own pre-cum to ease his strokes as he remembered the scorching kisses he’d shared with Declan. Using his other hand, Bram gave his sac a slight squeeze. Picking up his rhythm, he pushed the covers down and thrust into his own fist. His cock exploded with spurt after spurt of thick white cum, painting his chest and neck.

  It wasn’t until after he came that the images of Declan’s back seeped their way into Bram’s memories. The rows of thick puckered scars proved someone had hurt the man he’d fallen in love with. Bram knew those scars and how they got there were the reason Declan pushed him away.

  Feeling the anger of someone hurting Declan starting to overtake him, Bram shook his head and walked toward the bathroom. “I can’t keep loving someone as damaged as myself.”

  Chapter Two

  Bram pulled his rented pickup into the parking lot of the Timothy Fowler Rehabilitation Center. It had been two weeks since Thor’s phone call.

  He sat in the truck for a few minutes and let his eyes wander the ranch grounds. Gabe, Rex and Boone had done a damn fine job making the place look homey. Bram even saw Billy, Boone’s soon-to-be adopted son, by the barn playing with a Shepherd-mix pup.

  Looking toward the rehab facility, a part of Bram hoped Declan hadn’t left yet. He wouldn’t admit it out loud but he’d taken an early flight, hoping he’d get to see Declan for a few minutes before he was off on his white-water adventure.

  Getting out of the truck, Bram headed to the main house with his suitcase. He’d already called Gabe to tell him he was coming for the week and had been invited to stay at the house.

  Usually at that time of day, the threesome was off doing chores. So Bram didn’t even think about knocking until he walked into the kitchen and spotted Rex getting a morning blowjob. Bram stopped in his tracks, feeling his face and groin heat at the scene in front of him. “Sorry. I guess I should have knocked. I’ll let you and Boone finish while I take my bag up to my room.”

  At Rex’s smile and grunted reply, Bram carried his bag upstairs to the guestroom he’d used several months earlier. Setting his bag on the bed, he wondered if staying in a house with three horny men was a good idea. He decided to shake it off and go find Thor. And maybe Declan, if he’d got in early enough.

  Walking into the rehab facility, Bram spotted Thor right away. He was busy helping a young girl on the band-weight machine. Bram found a stool and sat to watch his brother work. He could tell by the young girl’s face she had a crush on him. Bram looked at his brother as a man for the first time. He’d never really noticed his brother’s looks before, but now that he thought about it, why wouldn’t Thor have women falling all over him? Despite being in a wheelchair, Thor was a beautiful man. Their Native American heritage was evident in his bronzed skin and thick black hair. People always commented on how much the brothers looked alike but this was the first time Bram had really seen it.

  Except for the length of hair and the tiny lines beginning to form around Bram’s eyes, they could probably pass for twins. Bram had always known he was a good-looking man but to see his face on someone else shocked him. Damn. I should have my pick of men. So why am I so set on the one man who doesn’t want me?

  Thor finished with the young girl and turned his head. “Bram.” Thor smiled and said something to the girl before wheeling over to where Bram was sitting. “You’re here early.”

  Bram grinned as Thor wheeled in front of him. He leaned forward and gave his baby brother a hug and kiss on the forehead. “Caught an earlier flight.” Bram pointed toward the girl. “It looked like you were both enjoying yourselves. You helping that girl and the girl drooling all over you.”

  Thor blushed and chuckled. “Hazard of the job.” Thor looked at Bram for a few seconds. “You look older, tired or something.”

  Knowing the reason for his own lack of sleep, Bram tried to play it off. “You try running a company. It’s damn hard work. I’m glad I called, though. I think I needed to get away.” Bram could see he wasn’t fooling his brother. He decided to be a little more honest. “Gets to me sometimes, being alone. Not having you there. Not having Mac, Nicco or Amir around. I keep telling myself I need to go out and make some new friends but it’s just not in me right now.” Bram clapped his hands together. “So, when do I get to meet this lady of yours?”

  Thor did the unexpected and reached out to cup the side of Bram’s face. Sliding his hand to the back of his neck, he pulled Bram’s head forward and rested his forehead against Bram’s in a sign of sympathy. “Move to Oklahoma and you won’t need to make new friends. I really miss you, brother. I have everything I’ve ever wanted right now, except you.”

  Bram felt tears threaten and
pulled away from Thor. “Declan still here or did he leave already?”

  Thor sighed, and gestured with his head. “I think he’s in his office. He’s not leaving for another couple of hours. Why don’t you be the bigger man and stop in to say hi before he leaves? You know you’ll hate yourself if you don’t.”

  Bram looked toward Declan’s office, then back at Thor. He nodded his head once and stood. “I might poke my head in for just a second to say hi.”

  Chuckling, Thor swatted Bram on the stomach. “I’m not sure this is the best place for you to be poking your head in anywhere.”

  “Smartass.” Bram smiled and walked toward Declan’s office. He felt a lump forming in his throat the closer he got. Just beyond that door was the man he couldn’t stop thinking about, the only man for him. Bram knew it was stupid. How could he be in love when he knew next to nothing about Declan? But there it was, feelings like he’d never known. Wiping his now-sweaty hands on his jeans, Bram knocked.

  “Come in.”

  Bram closed his eyes at the sound of Declan’s voice. It had been so long since he’d heard that throaty whisper. Opening the door, Bram looked at Declan for the first time in one and a half months. He looked even better than Bram remembered. “Hey.” He tried to sound casual, not wanting Declan to know he felt like falling on his knees and begging for another chance.

  Declan looked up from the patient chart he was scribbling in. “Bram. I‑I didn’t know you were coming.”

  Bram watched as Declan’s throat muscles worked in an effort to say something. Bram decided to take a chance. “Care if I have a seat?”

  “Oh. Oh sure, sit down. You must be tired after the flight and long drive from Oklahoma City.” Declan fiddled with the pencil on the desk. “So, are you here just to see Thor, or are you working on finding Gabe’s mother?” Declan began tapping the pencil on the scarred wood desk.