Journey to Lobster Cove Page 8

  They walked the next block in silence before Cullen cleared his throat. “To be with you like I’ve always wanted, I would definitely move here, but that’s the only way.”

  “And how do you want us to be?” Joseph asked.

  “Equal,” Cullen said. “I know you’re used to taking charge of every situation, but I’m no longer under your care. If you can’t see me as an equal, this won’t work no matter how much I want it.”

  Joseph stopped walking and let his arm drop from around Cullen’s shoulders. “I don’t treat you like that.”

  “Yeah, you do.” Cullen put his hands on Joseph’s chest. “You’re the one who ordered me to Cattle Valley against my will, and even after you found out my real age, you told me to stay in Wyoming instead of returning to DC.”

  Joseph wrapped his arms around Cullen. “That wasn’t me trying to take charge. I wasn’t ready to give into my feelings, and I’d hoped that by urging you to stay in Cattle Valley, you’d be safe until I worked my problems out.” He kissed the scar on Cullen’s forehead. “I’m sorry if you thought I was trying to boss you around. If I do something to make you feel that way in the future, I hope you’ll call me on it.”

  “When you think of me, do you see me the way you did Phillip?” Cullen asked.

  Joseph silently cursed. He still wasn’t sure how to explain his relationship with Phillip.

  “I guess that’s my answer.” Cullen tried to pull away, but Joseph refused to let him.

  “No,” Joseph blurted. “I don’t see the two of you the same.” He held Cullen as tight as he could without hurting him. “Phillip and I were partners in every sense of the word except in the bedroom.”

  “You didn’t fuck?” Cullen reared back enough to meet Joseph’s gaze.

  Joseph shook his head. “You don’t understand.” He struggled to find the words. “Phillip was so gentle in everything he did that our lovemaking was…”

  “Boring?”

  Please forgive me, Phillip. “Yes,” Joseph confessed. “I never doubted for a second that he loved me, but our sex life was a failure.”

  “That’s not possible.” Cullen fingered the buttons on the front of Joseph’s black dress shirt. “Don’t get mad at me, but it could have something to do with the clothes you wear. Phillip was religious, right?”

  “Yes, that’s how we met. I was still a priest at the time, and Phillip was a member of my congregation.” Joseph still remembered his body’s reaction when he’d first laid eyes on Phillip.

  “So you left the priesthood for him?” Cullen asked.

  “Not right away, but eventually,” Joseph replied. “Phillip used to apologize all the time for luring me away from my faith. I tried to make him understand that I left the Catholic Church but God would forever be in my soul, but I don’t think he ever truly believed me.”

  “And his guilt affected your sex life?”

  Joseph brushed his cheek against Cullen’s. Admitting the truth about his relationship was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do. “By the time Phillip and I had sex for the first time, I’d left the priesthood. It was apparent after our first time together that we weren’t compatible in bed, but Phillip felt too guilty to leave me at that point, so we made our relationship work by concentrating on other aspects of our love for each other.”

  “You still haven’t answered my original question,” Cullen reminded.

  “Ask it again.” Joseph had no intention of dodging the question, but he needed to make Cullen understand how different he hoped their relationship could be.

  “When you think of me, do you see me the same way you did Phillip?”

  “No,” Joseph whispered. “Because in the end, Phillip and I loved each other more like brothers. I’m not complaining. We were happy despite our failings.” He glanced around them, making sure they weren’t being watched before he continued. “My love for you is different. I can’t explain it, but you make me feel like a complete man. I want things with you that I’d never be able to admit to someone else.”

  “What things?” Cullen asked.

  Joseph felt his face heat. “Can we talk about it later when we’re not standing on the sidewalk in full view of the neighborhood?”

  A devilish tilt of his lips transformed Cullen’s masculine face into a boyish grin. “We can grab a couple of burgers from The Bluebird before going back to my place if that suits you?”

  “Lead the way.”

  * * * *

  Joseph held the door open for Cullen as they entered The Bluebird Café. The old wooden floor, along with the mismatched tables and chairs, gave the place a homey feel that he appreciated.

  “Hey, sweetie, I wondered why I hadn’t seen you today,” a heavy-set woman, Joseph assumed was Bev, said. She grabbed two menus and made her way toward them. “Who’ve you got with ya?”

  Cullen surprised Joseph by giving the woman a kiss on the cheek. “Evening, Bev.” He gestured to Joseph. “This is my friend Joseph Allenbrand. He runs the shelter in DC that’ll be transferring to Lobster Cove.”

  Bev’s big brown eyes softened as she stared up at Joseph. “Bless you,” she said. “Carl took me down to New Orleans for our anniversary a few years ago, and I saw so many young people on the street there.” She covered her mouth and shook her head. “I don’t mind telling you, I wanted to pack them all up and bring them home with me.”

  Joseph smiled at her kindness. “Thank you. I’m glad you feel that way. The neighborhood we’re in now doesn’t feel the same, so it’ll be nice for the boys to be around people who don’t look down their noses at them for being who they are.”

  Bev’s face reddened. “None of that will go on here. I promise you that.” She placed her left fist on her ample hip. “Carl’s nephew, Bishop, prefers men, and we don’t put up with any bad talk about him. He’s a chef down in Portland. Good boy.”

  Joseph nodded. It warmed his heart to know his boys would be as accepted in Lobster Cove as they were in Cattle Valley.

  “Listen to me, going on and on.” Bev chuckled. “Let me show you to a table.”

  “Thanks, but we just need to place an order to go. Joseph and I have a lot to talk about.” Cullen glanced up at Joseph. “Burgers okay?”

  “Sounds good,” Joseph replied.

  “Give us two double cheeseburgers, loaded, with seasoned fries and a couple chocolate malts.”

  Bev nodded but didn’t bother to write down their order. “Made cherry pie earlier.”

  Cullen chuckled. “Okay, two pieces of pie.”

  “Good choice.” Bev returned the menus to the front counter before yelling their order through a pass-through to the kitchen.

  A balding man’s face appeared in the opening and waved to Cullen before disappearing again.

  “Seem like nice people,” Joseph said, sitting in a straight-back chair near the front door.

  “They’re gold,” Cullen agreed. “Night before last, I was trying to finish work in the shower room before Jordan came to handle the plumbing, and I missed dinner. Bev showed up with a to-go container and a speech about how important it was to eat three meals a day.” He sat next to Joseph and leaned toward him. “I have to be honest though, as good as the food is here, Bev and Carl aren’t able to keep up. Most people know to schedule an extra-long lunch if they’re coming.”

  “They’re probably getting too old for this kind of work.” Joseph couldn’t imagine spending forty-something years on his feet every day.

  “They’re definitely too old, but since their four kids are grown and gone, Bev claims the diner helps them feel needed.”

  Joseph rubbed the back of his neck as an idea began to form. The new shelter would have room for at least forty by the time the renovations were finished. At present, the Rainbow Youth Center in DC only housed seventeen, which left a lot of room to rescue others. “Once the shelter is up and running, would you be interested in traveling with me to New York City? I’ve already spoken to a contact of mine there about the ov
erwhelming need of a program like ours for the young men on the streets.”

  “If I travel with you, who’s going to look after the shelter?” Cullen asked.

  Joseph nodded toward Bev who was busy delivering a tray of food to one of the tables. “If they’re interested, they’d be the perfect choice. Of course we’d have to do a routine background check.”

  Cullen snorted. “Oh, they’d pass. Those two are perfect, but as much as I love them, I don’t think they could handle the boys. You know what some of them are like when they first come to the shelter.”

  “Yeah, but I also know most of them have never experienced the love and kindness Bev would bring. I haven’t met Carl, but if he’s anything like his wife, I think I’ve just figured out what the shelter’s been lacking all this time.”

  “What’s that?”

  “A family atmosphere. I’ve been bringing young men into the shelter to keep them safe, make sure they get their education and counseling, but what if all they really need is to feel loved?” The reality hit Joseph like a ton of bricks. He’d always cared for the boys, but he’d been too afraid to love them because he’d always known their stay was temporary. Cullen had been the one exception, and he’d never loved the man sitting beside him as he would a son.

  Joseph noticed Cullen hadn’t said anything and turned to look at him. “Cullen?”

  Eyes brimming with tears, Cullen stared up at Joseph. “I’m sure most of them have never been loved.”

  Joseph couldn’t help but wonder whether Cullen was speaking of himself, but that wasn’t right because Joseph had loved him for years. I’ve never told him before today. He wrapped his arm around Cullen and pulled him closer to his side. “You’re loved.”

  “By you?”

  “Definitely by me, but don’t forget Mandy, Drake and Oggie. We all love you but in different ways.” Joseph spotted Bev walking toward them with a big brown sack in her hands. He placed a quick kiss on Cullen’s temple before releasing him. “We’ll finish this discussion when we get back to your house.”

  Cullen quickly blinked away his tears before getting to his feet.

  Joseph pulled out his wallet to pay for the meal, but Cullen shoved it away.

  “I got it,” Cullen offered.

  “You don’t have to pay for me,” Joseph argued.

  “Yes, I do. We’re on a date, and I’m the one receiving a regular paycheck these days.” Cullen stepped up to the counter and waited for Bev to ring up their dinner.

  Joseph stayed back, marveling at the body in front of him. Cullen had matured a lot in the last few years. Joseph’s gaze traveled across the muscular back he could see through the thin, cotton T-shirt Cullen had on. Although Cullen only stood five-foot-six-inches, he was incredibly muscular for someone who weighed so little when he’d first moved into the shelter. Joseph assumed it was a combination of regular meals and the physical work he’d taken on in Cattle Valley and now Lobster Cove. Whatever it was, Joseph couldn’t wait to get his hands on his date.

  * * * *

  Instead of eating at the kitchen table, they’d set up in front of the television with Joseph sitting on the sofa while Cullen sat on the floor next to the coffee table. “Good?” Cullen asked, holding up his burger.

  “The best. I can’t remember the last time I bought a burger that was obviously handmade and didn’t come frozen in a preformed patty.” Joseph took a sip of his malt and sighed.

  Cullen’s dick thickened at Joseph’s throaty moan. Fuck. His hand shook as he reached for his drink. He wanted to wait for Joseph to make the first move but, damn, he was beginning to think it wouldn’t happen. Joseph seemed almost shy when it came to talking about sex, which led Cullen to believe he’d never been the aggressor. Tired of dancing around the subject, he wiped his hands and mouth with a napkin before crawling toward Joseph. “Tell me you’re done eating?” he asked, insinuating himself between Joseph’s thighs.

  Joseph reached around Cullen and dropped his cheeseburger onto the table. “Done.”

  Cullen started at Joseph’s top button. “I’ve never seen you wear anything besides these black shirts.”

  “I have a few T-shirts I use to sleep in.” Joseph cleaned his hands with a napkin.

  “Will you tell me why you always dress like a priest minus the collar?” Cullen tugged on the tail of Joseph’s shirt before he finished unbuttoning it. “Shit.” He feathered his fingers through the gray and black hair on Joseph’s toned chest. “You definitely don’t have the body of a man in his forties.”

  Joseph squirmed a little, and Cullen couldn’t tell if it was his touch or his words that had caused the reaction. Cullen decided to press on. He leaned forward and swiped his tongue across Joseph’s right nipple.

  A groan erupted from Joseph’s throat at the contact.

  “Tell me what you want,” Cullen whispered, scraping the opposite nipple with his teeth.

  “Just you.” Joseph arched his back when Cullen latched on to one pebbled nub and began to suck. “Love the way your mouth feels on me,” he praised.

  “Mmm hmm.” Cullen began to kiss his way down Joseph’s chest. In the past, body hair had turned him off in his johns because cleanliness wasn’t always a priority for the men who paid him, but Joseph was different in every way that counted. Cullen relished the wiry curls against his face as he licked a path to Joseph’s belly button. He paused to rim the indention with the tip of his tongue and stared up at Joseph. “Can I taste you?”

  Joseph worried his bottom lip with his tongue. “If I come, it’ll take me a while to get hard again.”

  Cullen rubbed his chin across Joseph’s erection. “That’s okay. We have all night.” He unfastened the clasp before easing Joseph’s zipper down. When he noticed his hands had started to shake again, he chuckled. He’d given thousands of blowjobs in his life, but none of them had mattered. “I’m nervous,” Cullen admitted, fishing Joseph’s cock from his underwear.

  “Really?” Joseph leaned back to rest his head on a couch cushion.

  Cullen ran his finger up the heavily veined skin of Joseph’s length. “After what you told me about you and Phillip, I’m worried you won’t enjoy my touch.” He followed the path his finger had taken with his tongue.

  Joseph sighed. “No need to worry about that.”

  Cullen licked the dollop of pre-cum on the tip of Joseph’s cock before taking the head into his mouth. Joseph’s girth was an absolute perfect fit for Cullen. He’d had sex with men who seemed overly proud of their humungous dicks, but Cullen had never understood why. What use was a huge slab of meat if you could only comfortably fuck someone with the first five or six inches? He eased Joseph’s length down his throat. Perfect.

  “Damn,” Joseph growled.

  Cullen waited for Joseph to move—expected it. When it didn’t happen, he withdrew from Joseph’s dick and looked up at him. “What’s wrong?”

  “Not a thing.”

  Joseph’s eyes seemed glazed and his lids appeared heavy with desire, so Cullen couldn’t figure out why he was just sitting there. He wondered if it had something to do with the less than stellar sex he’d gotten used to with Phillip. “Joseph?”

  “Hmm?”

  Cullen stood and began to strip out of his clothes. He had a feeling if he wanted Joseph to lose control, Cullen would have to get the former priest out of his own head. “Sex isn’t something you think about.” He dropped his T-shirt onto the floor before toeing off his boots and starting on his jeans.

  Once he was naked, he held out his arms, giving Joseph an unobstructed view of his body, and slowly turned in a circle. “My body’s right here, ready for anything you have in mind. Now, tell me what you want to do.”

  Joseph stood and pushed his slacks the rest of the way off, stopping only long enough to remove his black dress shoes. “I want everything,” he replied, reaching for Cullen.

  Cullen took a step back and shook his finger. “Nope. Keep your hands to yourself. I want you to tell me exactly wha
t you want.”

  “To touch you.”

  “Where? Be specific,” Cullen coached. Cullen wanted Joseph to get over his embarrassment in regards to sex because there was nothing on earth more natural than desire.

  “Your chest,” Joseph answered. “I want to run my hands from your chest down to your groin.”

  “My groin or my cock?” Cullen grabbed his erection by the base and squeezed.

  “Your cock.” Joseph’s gaze was glued to Cullen’s hand as it worked its way up and down his length.

  “What do you want to do with my cock?” Cullen could tell by Joseph’s flushed face he was being pushed out of his comfort zone. He prayed his plan wouldn’t backfire on him.

  Joseph dropped to the couch and buried his face in his hands. “I’m a man of God.” He scrubbed at his face. “I shouldn’t want to feel your cock buried inside me.”

  Fuck. Cullen released his dick and moved to kneel in front of Joseph. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting that. We’re both consenting adults. What we do together is between us, and as long as we’re both in agreement and it feels good, what else matters?”

  Joseph lifted his head. “God sees everything.”

  Cullen wrapped his arms around Joseph’s waist and rested his cheek against Joseph’s chest. “Do you believe you were born gay?”

  Joseph nodded. “Yes, but I also believe I was chosen by God to do his work.”

  “I believe that, too.” Cullen pressed his lips over Joseph’s big heart. “But, I don’t think God would’ve made fucking so pleasurable if he thought it was wrong. To procreate, tab A goes into slot B. It’s that simple, and even if sex didn’t feel so damn good, people would still do it in order to multiply. Enjoying sex is natural. We’re supposed to do it.” He encircled Joseph’s cock with his hand. “Otherwise, this wouldn’t feel any different than me shaking your hand.”

  Joseph grinned. “It feels a lot better than a handshake.”